Guide · Wedding speeches · About a 6-minute read
How to write a groom's speech
The groom's speech has two jobs: thank the people who made the day happen, and tell the room why you married the person sitting next to you. Get the thank-yous done quickly and spend your real time on the second part. Here's how.
Where it sits and how long
At a traditional UK wedding the groom speaks second, after the father of the bride and before the best man. Five to eight minutes is plenty, roughly 700 to 1,000 words.
A simple structure
- Reply to the first speech (20 seconds). Thank whoever spoke before you for their kind words, and for welcoming you into the family.
- Thank-yous (1 to 2 minutes). Both families, guests (especially anyone who travelled), anyone who helped with the day. One sentence each.
- Absent friends (15 seconds, optional). A short line for anyone who couldn't be there or has died.
- Your partner (2 to 3 minutes). How you met, when you knew, what they're like when nobody's watching, and what you promise them. This is the heart of it.
- Attendants and best man (45 seconds). Thank the bridesmaids or attendants and the ushers, then the best man, and hand over.
- Toast. Either to your partner, or to the bridesmaids or attendants, whichever your couple prefers.
Lines for the part about your partner
"I knew I was in trouble on our third date, when she beat me at pool, refused a rematch and then made me buy the chips."
"Everyone here knows how kind [name] is. What you might not know is that she remembers every one of your birthdays, and she's the reason I've stopped forgetting my mum's."
"[Name], today you made me the luckiest man in this room. I promise to keep trying to deserve it."
A complete example (about 6 minutes)
"Thank you, Paul, for those lovely words, and for not mentioning the time I reversed into your garden wall. On behalf of my wife and I (I've been waiting all day to say that), thank you all for being here.
Paul and Sue, thank you for welcoming me into your family and for raising someone so remarkable. Mum and Dad, thank you for everything, today and for the last 32 years. Thank you to everyone who travelled to be here, and to Carol, whose table decorations I'm told took eight months and four glue guns.
We'd also like to remember Emily's grandad, Ron, who we know would have loved today, and would have had a lot to say about the price of the bar.
Emily and I met at a friend's barbecue in Chelmsford, six years ago. She was the only person who'd brought a coat, because she'd checked the forecast. It rained. She lent me her umbrella and has been looking after me ever since.
I knew she was the one about three months in, when I came down with flu and she drove forty minutes with soup, a box of tissues and a DVD of every Bond film, then fell asleep halfway through the first one. She's brave, she's funny, she's far more organised than me, and she makes every room she walks into a better place to be.
Emily, you look absolutely beautiful. Thank you for marrying me. I promise to always check the forecast.
To Grace, Sophie and Hannah, thank you for looking after Emily today and for everything in the run-up. To the ushers, thank you for getting everyone to the right seats, more or less. And finally, to my best man, Tom. We've been friends since we were eleven, which means he knows far too much. Tom, I've seen your notes. Everyone, I'm sorry in advance.
Before I hand over, please would you stand and raise your glasses to the bridesmaids."
Tips for the day
- Write the thank-yous as a checklist first so you don't miss anyone, then turn it into sentences.
- Look at your partner when you speak about them. The room will look too.
- Swap notes with the best man and the father of the bride so you don't tell the same story.
- Keep it on cards or your phone, and practise it out loud at least three times.
Frequently asked questions
- How long should a groom's speech be?
- Five to eight minutes, which is about 700 to 1,000 words. The groom usually has the most people to thank, so keep each thank-you to a sentence and save your time for the part about your partner.
- Who does the groom thank, and in what order?
- A common order is: the father of the bride (or whoever spoke first) for their words, both sets of parents, guests for coming, anyone who helped with the day, the bridesmaids or attendants, the best man and ushers, and finally your new wife or husband. Many grooms toast the bridesmaids or attendants at the end.
- Does the groom introduce the best man?
- Usually, yes. The groom's speech ends by thanking the best man and handing over, often with a light warning to the room about what's coming.
- Should the groom be funny?
- A little, but the groom's speech is mostly the sincere one. One or two gentle jokes, ideally on yourself, are enough. Let the best man do the heavy lifting on laughs.
- What if two grooms or two brides are speaking?
- Share the thank-yous between you so nothing is said twice, and each of you speaks about the other. The same structure works for one shared speech or two short ones.
Want it written for you?
TCH Works writes wedding speeches around your own stories. You answer a short questionnaire by email (how you met, the memories that matter, the tone you want) and we send back a speech that sounds like you, timed to the minute, with cue cards. Up to 5 minutes is £25 in 2 working days, or £45 for up to 10 minutes with next-working-day delivery, two openings to choose from and a short back-up version.