Guide · Wedding speeches · About a 5-minute read
How to write a maid of honour speech
More and more UK weddings now include a speech from the maid of honour or chief bridesmaid. It isn't a roast and it isn't a best man speech in a dress. It's the chance to tell the room who your friend really is. Here's a simple structure, lines you can borrow and a complete example.
How long, and when
Aim for three to five minutes, about 400 to 650 words. There is no traditional slot, so most couples put it after the groom or alongside the best man. Ask early, because it changes how you open.
A five-part structure
- Hello and who you are (20 seconds). Your name and how you know the bride: sister, school friend, flatmate.
- How you met, or your earliest memory of her (1 minute). One short scene the room can picture.
- Who she is (1 to 2 minutes). One or two specific stories that show her best quality: loyalty, stubbornness, kindness, terrible sense of direction.
- The partner (1 minute). When you first met them, and what you've noticed about how they treat her.
- A wish and the toast (30 seconds). Ask everyone to stand and raise a glass to the couple.
Opening lines you can use
"Hi everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm [name], and I've been [bride]'s best friend since we were eleven and both got lost on the first day of secondary school."
"I'm [name], [bride]'s little sister. I've spent 28 years borrowing her clothes, so standing up here in a dress she chose for me feels about right."
"I've been told the best man has ten minutes. I've got four. I'm going to use them better."
Lines about the partner
"The first time I met [partner], he'd learned the names of all three of her cats before he met me. I knew then he'd done his homework."
"[Partner], you make her laugh harder than anyone I know, and you've never once complained about her playlists. That's love."
A complete example (about 4 minutes)
"Hi everyone. For anyone I haven't met, I'm Jess, and I've been Hannah's best friend since we sat next to each other in Year 7 French. Neither of us learned any French. We did learn every word of the Spice Girls' first album.
Hannah is the friend everyone needs. When I failed my driving test for the second time, she turned up at my door forty minutes later with a box of doughnuts and a printed list of every famous person who also failed their test. She'd made it on the bus. Half of them weren't true, but it worked.
She's also the most organised person in this room. This wedding has a spreadsheet. The spreadsheet has tabs. One of the tabs is called "back-up spreadsheet". So if anything has gone wrong today, I promise you, she already knows, and there's a plan.
Tom, the first time I met you, Hannah had warned me you were "quite quiet". Then you spent two hours telling me about the time you got stuck on a ferry to the Isle of Wight. I've never seen her laugh so much. Since then I've watched you look after her, put up with her alarms going off at 5am for park runs, and learn the dance routine for today in secret. You're perfect for each other.
Hannah, thank you for twenty years of doughnuts, lists and picking up the phone at 2am. I love you, and I couldn't be happier for you both.
So please would you all stand and raise your glasses. To Hannah and Tom."
Tips for the day
- Check with the best man so you don't tell the same story.
- Write it out in full, then put it on numbered cards in a large font.
- Speak to the room, not just the bride, and pause after each laugh.
- Keep stories kind: no exes, no hen-do secrets, nothing about the cost of the wedding.
- Have a tissue in your pocket. You'll probably need it.
Frequently asked questions
- How long should a maid of honour speech be?
- Three to five minutes, roughly 400 to 650 words. It often comes after the groom and before or after the best man, and the room is happiest when every speech is tight. Time it out loud and cut until it fits.
- When does the maid of honour speak at a UK wedding?
- There is no fixed slot because it isn't part of the traditional running order of father of the bride, groom, best man. Most couples put it after the groom's speech or straight after the best man. Ask the couple and the toastmaster or venue coordinator.
- Should a maid of honour speech be funny?
- Gently. One or two light moments are lovely, but a maid of honour speech works best as a warm tribute to your friend or sister. Avoid exes, drunken stories and anything she wouldn't want her grandparents to hear.
- What if I'm nervous about public speaking?
- Print it in a big font on numbered cards, practise it out loud three or four times, and speak slower than feels natural. Keep a glass of water nearby. Nobody expects a polished performance; they want to hear you mean it.
- Do I give a toast at the end?
- Usually yes. Ask everyone to stand and raise a glass to the couple, by name. If the best man is giving the main toast to the couple, you can toast the bride, or the bridesmaids, instead. Check so you don't double up.
Want it written for you?
TCH Works writes wedding speeches around your own stories. You answer a short questionnaire by email (how you met, the memories that matter, the tone you want) and we send back a speech that sounds like you, timed to the minute, with cue cards. Up to 5 minutes is £25 in 2 working days, or £45 for up to 10 minutes with next-working-day delivery, two openings to choose from and a short back-up version.