Guide · Wedding speeches
How to write a father of the groom speech (UK structure and examples)
The father of the groom speech is short, warm and generous. Its job is to welcome the bride and her family, say something true about your son, and hand over without stealing anyone’s thunder. Here is a structure that works, with example lines you can adapt.
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The five-part structure
- Introduce yourself and thank the hosts. One line on who you are, then thanks to the bride’s parents and everyone who travelled.
- Welcome the bride. The heart of the speech. Say what you have noticed about her and how she is with your son.
- A short story about your son. One affectionate moment from growing up that shows who he is now.
- A word to the couple. A line of advice or a wish for their marriage, kept light.
- The toast. Ask everyone to stand and raise a glass to the couple by name.
Example lines you can adapt
Opening: “For those I haven’t met, I’m Graham, Tom’s dad. I’ll be brief, because I’ve been told the best man has eleven pages.”
Thanks: “Sue and Martin, thank you for welcoming us so warmly, today and over the last four years. It’s been a pleasure becoming one family.”
Welcoming the bride: “Emma, the first time Tom brought you home, he tidied his room. In twenty-eight years I had never seen that. We knew then you were someone special, and we’ve loved you ever since.”
The story: “At seven, Tom saved his pocket money for six weeks to buy his mum a birthday cake, then ate half of it on the walk home. He has always had a big heart, and a bigger appetite.”
Advice: “My only advice: always say goodnight, and always let her have the last roast potato.”
Toast: “Please stand and raise your glasses to the new Mr and Mrs Hughes. To Tom and Emma.”
Mistakes to avoid
- Talking more about your son than about the couple. The bride should feel welcomed, not tacked on.
- Going over five minutes. Time it out loud with a stopwatch.
- Repeating the father of the bride’s thanks word for word. Check with him beforehand.
- Inside jokes only your family will get.
- Mentioning exes, the cost of the wedding, or anyone who could not come because of a falling out.
- Reading from your phone. Print it on cue cards in large type.
Before the day
- Agree with the couple that you are speaking, and where in the order.
- Ask the best man roughly what he is covering so your stories do not overlap.
- Read it aloud three times, once in front of someone honest.
- If someone close has died, a single gentle line (“we know Grandad would have loved today”) is enough. Ask the couple first.
Related guides: father of the bride speech, mother of the bride speech, groom speech and best man speech.
Frequently asked questions
- Does the father of the groom give a speech at a UK wedding?
- It is not part of the traditional running order (father of the bride, groom, best man), but it is now common, especially when the groom’s family are hosting or helping pay. Agree it with the couple first so the timings and the order are planned.
- How long should a father of the groom speech be?
- Three to five minutes is ideal, which is roughly 400 to 650 words spoken at a relaxed pace. Shorter than the best man, and never longer than the father of the bride.
- When does the father of the groom speak?
- Usually straight after the father of the bride, or just before the groom. Some couples have him say a few words at the rehearsal dinner instead. Ask the couple or the venue coordinator.
- Who should the father of the groom thank?
- The bride’s parents for their welcome (and hosting, if they did), guests who travelled, and anyone who helped with the day. Leave the bridesmaids and the venue staff to the groom unless the couple ask otherwise.
- Should the father of the groom tell embarrassing stories?
- One gentle, affectionate story is fine. Save the roasting for the best man. Nothing about exes, money, drink or anything you would not say in front of the bride’s grandmother.
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